Overwhelmed

My sister traveled here with us to help us settle in and she just left so my emotions are running rampant.  Mark took her to the airport and is now running errands with the 2 oldest.  The 3 youngest are napping.  This is the first time I've sat alone in our new house (minus the buzzing fly that just.won't.go.away).  My first thought when I got everyone to sleep was to run downstairs and see what I could get done.  In reality that's a fairly futile exercise at this point.   We'll be without any closets/dressers/pantry for at least another week so anything I do now really just amounts to shuffling from 1 stack to another.  That will have to be done some to prevent total chaos but I thought these few moments might be better spent reflecting.  I sat down on our (new!) sofa next to this little pumpkin:

and the first word that came to mind was "overwhelmed."  I'm overwhelmed by the enormity of living here.  I'm overwhelmed by the bags that are still unpacked because there's nowhere to unpack them to.  I'm overwhelmed at the thought of raising 5 children in this foreign culture, in this dusty and sometimes unsafe place, in this language that I still can't totally understand.  I'm overwhelmed because in my mind these precious little ones

In the park with Aunt Laura

are our perfect little disciples but if you had been with us this morning you would have heard arguing and complaining and grumpiness and selfishness and I can't even say all of that was from the kids.  I'm overwhelmed after this wonderfully exhausting transition time because now it's time to break old habits and form new ones and that's hard.  I'm overwhelmed with the idea of homeschooling 3 on different levels while 2 others do....what?  I'm overwhelming myself with pressure to start when our homeschool room looks like this:

The only furniture in our homeschool room

and half of our supplies are still in here:

1st meal in our house - in the middle of all the bags:)

And I am overwhelmed by showers that only give you 30 seconds of hot water at a time, trying to find the pharmacy that sells iodine so we can clean our fruits and veggies, buying water because the right water filter is still out of stock, digging through a duffle bag to find the taco seasoning or that beloved toy or a (relatively) clean pillowcase...

So that was my very long first thought which was then followed by a long second thought.  Again, "overwhelmed."  By the enormity of Christ and His grace in our lives.  That after 5 years of praying and planning and longing we are finally here.  That there's a whole mountain of people that are loving us and supporting us in a million ways not because we ever do anything right but because God redeems and moves.  That God can and has used our very imperfect family to proclaim His glory and to advance His kingdom.  What???  How does that work?  I'm overwhelmed because I remember that the Gospel applies to all the little places (a sweet reminder after reading this article that someone linked to on facebook).

My time ran out to post this earlier so now the day has progressed and I'm on the brink of sleep.  I'm still overwhelmed - now by thankfulness.  So thankful for where God has led us and what God has provided.  So thankful for the husband who bought me a yummy piece of chocolate and put a flashlight by my side of the bed "just in case."  So thankful for 5 healthy heads as I read facebook posts from an old friend who just found out 1 of her babies has a brain tumor.  So thankful for a God who holds each of us - never leaving us, never forgetting us, always involved and aware of the smallest and most intimate details.  And I am overwhelmed by a desire to serve Him right where He has me.

Welcome to Cusco - the view from the top of our hill